Families are complex, wonderful, frustrating, crazy-making systems! You, like all, come from a tribe where you learned good and bad behaviors. After all, no one is perfect. Patterns of relating and behaving are passed down across generations and habitually repeated even when they aren’t constructive or helpful.
The challenges of parenting are never truly realized until you’re knee deep in it, and that’s when instincts kick in. Your childhood experiences unconsciously influence your interaction as a parent. One of the biggest parenting mistakes you can make is not setting and managing positive behavioral expectations. Family counseling and therapy can teach you a clear, easy method of parenting that puts you in control. It teaches you how to be conscious, rather than reactive, as well as how to set healthy boundaries and gain/keep control of your emotions. All of this makes you a better parent and positive role model for your child(ren).
Step-parenting in blended families presents its own unique set of challenges. You naturally love your own children more than the newly introduced stepchild(ren), and it takes time to adapt to any new living and family situation. It may be instinctual for you to side with your biological children, and they with their siblings. This creates enormous systemic problems in the family, and things can deteriorate quickly. In this case, family counseling and therapy starts with you as parents. Once you have mastered open, calm and respectful communication regarding a cohesive parenting approach, the focus turns to your children to strengthen their relationships and build trust within the blended tribe.
Family counseling can resolve multigenerational tension and pave the road to mutual understanding and healthy communication. This is called transgenerational therapy, and it involves parents, siblings and any other family members that need relationship repair – all in the same room! If this sounds scary, lay your worries to rest. You will all learn communication skills that allow each to feel heard and understood. Generational behavior patterns are discussed and analyzed, yet no one is blamed. You are all part of the problem and will also be part of the solution.
Family Counseling & Therapy Will Help You:
- Understand learned generational patterns of behavior
- Evaluate these patterns and decide which are appropriate for your parenting situation
- Learn to communicate respectfully so you feel heard and understood
- Heal relationships within and between generations
- Improve stepfamily communication and relationships
- Become a stronger, better parent – no matter what the age of your child(ren)
- Repair long-standing grudges, hurts and misunderstandings between family members
- Be a better role model for your child(ren)
- Learn a structured, consistent method of parenting that teaches your child(ren) age-appropriate responsibility and accountability and encourages connection, as well as independence
- Reclaim the sense of belonging to a family by laying to rest any shame or blame that has been passed down and interfered with connection.
It’s time to begin the journey of repairing and improving your tribe. Click here to set up a session or simply ask more questions.
Austin, Texas Family Counselor & Therapist, Dr. Pam Monday
1101 S Capital of Texas Hwy,
(Loop 360 @ Lost Creek Blvd.)
Austin, TX 78746